


You're familiar like a mirror a million years ago

by Lizicia



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angst, Earth-2, F/M, I mean this will hurt, Romance, adventures with the past, because you know you wanted it, this is really Earth-2 Harrison Wells and Caitlin Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5968300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizicia/pseuds/Lizicia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'The truth is, ever since Harrison Wells landed in this alternative universe of his world, he’s been trying to figure out how to talk to Caitlin Snow.<br/>Or, more precisely, about Killer Frost.<br/>But how he could have told her that he loved her and also caused her demise?'</p>
<p>Alternative imagining post-2x13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're familiar like a mirror a million years ago

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I went there because this needed to be written.  
> Title from Hozier's "From Eden".

The truth is, ever since Harrison Wells landed in this alternative universe of his world, he’s been trying to figure out how to talk to Caitlin Snow.

Or, more precisely, how to talk to her about _her_.

The other her.

Killer Frost.

He’s started the conversation in his head so many times but for all of his general bluntness and unflinching loyalty to always telling the truth, he’s been lying by omission all the time he’s been on this Earth.

Because he doesn’t quite know how to explain it all and so far, it’s been inconsequential. Harrison never expected to go back to his home with someone else or even meet Killer Frost and Deathstorm there. It was a small, a miniscule possibility but not important enough to bring up.

Being a scientist, he should’ve known that the most miniscule of possibilities have an annoying habit of becoming reality.

But how he could have told her that he loved her and also caused her demise?

* * *

 

Harrison stares at the blueprints of the particle accelerator with barely contained anger and tries to will them to bend to his desires. And it’s no use, just like it has been of no use for a whole month now, since Hartley told him that the design was flawed and dangerous and could bring about unimaginable consequences.

But Harrison Wells has never backed down from a challenge and he expected Hartley to be the same. At a time, it seemed like they shared everything – the science, the desire to change the world, a bed, a life. But Hartley had proven to be too cowardly, too stuck in what he thought was right, without any real imagination, so he had to go.

Harrison’s only regret is that Hartley’s potential was left untapped but that is ultimately on Hartley.

“You’re still here.”

He raises his head from the documents and takes in Caitlin who’s standing there, perfectly put together in her dark grey dress.

“And so are you, Dr. Snow.”

She enters his office without his invitation, like she’s become prone to do in all their months of working together. The first time it happened, he was surprised as no one had ever taken the liberty to do so, and he expected it least of all from her. But he’s learned not to underestimate her anymore.

“You know, you could just call me Caitlin. We don’t need to be so formal with each other.”

He raises an eyebrow as she takes a seat across from his desk and leans back, totally content to sit there as if this is her place.

“I think that would be a tad bit unprofessional, Dr. Snow. You know how greatly I value the work I do here.”

“Yes, and to become closer with your employees would be so terrible. I can’t even imagine wanting to know more about them.”

She smirks and he’s slightly shocked by how much she’s changed from those first days since she admired him openly, just like everyone else. Or perhaps she hasn’t changed at all but he just did not notice that she was so much more than a young girl who wanted to work side by side with the superstar of the scientific world.

“If you ran your own lab, you might make different decisions. As it stands, this is mine and I conduct myself as I please.”

He doesn’t mean to be so curt with her but there’s something in her that makes him want to put on all his defenses, hide behind professionalism and proper conduct, lest she find out that he already thinks of her differently than his other employees.

Judging by the way she gains more confidence from his words and does not back down, he might have miscalculated how effective he was at that.

“One day I possibly will. Though I think the two of us could work together much more efficiently, if you ever deemed anyone good enough to stand by your side.”

He’s heard this argument before from others – heard it from Hartley countless of times and berated him for stepping out of line – but it’s never sounded right until this moment, this very dangerous moment.

Caitlin stands and comes around the desk, leaning on it next to him and studying the plans for herself.

“Because if you did, I would have told you months ago that I know a brilliant mechanical engineer who could fix all of the structural issues you and Hartley have been arguing about.”

“You listened to our conversations?”

She peers up at him and she is definitely too close because he can now see the pale pink gloss adorning her lips and could count each of her eyelashes if he wanted to.

“Well, if you hadn’t been so loud in your…discussions…The whole office could probably hear you but most of them are foolish enough to never speak up. And that is why they will always remain Dr. Something-or-other who works for you at STAR Labs.”

He doesn’t mean to lean closer but he knows he does and is helpless to stop himself.

“As opposed to what?”

“Dr. Caitlin Snow who works _with_ you, who runs this thing with you.”

Harrison doesn’t mean to but can’t help but be seduced by her voice and her proposition sounds enticing, rather than preposterous.

“You know, I’ve heard something like that before.”

She smirks and he knows that she knows about Hartley, despite all his efforts to be quiet and not make it into a big deal.

“Tell me, did you make him call you _Dr. Wells_ in bed as well?”

Her tone is taunting and joking but its effect is the opposite of where she was probably going; he jerks back from her and puts a few feet of distance between them.

She looks disappointed and he wishes he didn’t feel the disappointment within himself as well but there are boundaries to maintain.

“You better call that engineer then.”

Caitlin straightens herself and her face becomes a blank mask of cool nothingness. It doesn’t suit her very well.

“Fine.”

* * *

 

When the doorbell rings, he first thinks it’s Jesse who came over for dinner and forgot something behind. That is the only reason why he opens the door abruptly and with a smile on his face, rather than check his intercom system.

Instead, it’s _her_.

“Dr. Wells.”

Caitlin smiles carefully and he can see something brewing behind her eyes, something that should make him wary. But he’s had two glasses of wine and he’s spent a very relaxing evening with his daughter, so he doesn’t really think about it.

That turns out to be his first slip.

“Caitlin. Come in.”

Her eyes widen and her smile becomes more natural as she barely manages not to outright gawk at him.

“Well, good evening to you too, _Harry_. I can see that you’ve had a nice one.”

She steps past him into the house and when he makes the mistake of looking down at her, she stops in her tracks and leaves them standing right there with the pure magnetism of her gaze.

“Only a very few people can call me that.”

“And do you really oppose to me doing so?”

She raises her hand and slowly trails down the buttons on his dress shirt with her finger, all the while looking up at him, so she can definitely feel that the touch makes him shiver a little bit and see that his pupils most certainly dilate.

“Not really.” And that’s his second misstep as he lets the truth slip out without meaning to do so.

“Thought so.”

And without anything more, she turns away from him and walks into the house like she hasn’t just openly flirted with him in the doorway to his place and _wow_ , maybe he should have less wine in the future.

Caitlin comes to a stop at the dinner table he hasn’t cleared and takes in the setting for two, the half-empty wine bottle, Jesse’s favorite jazz artist Joe West crooning in the background. When he reaches her, her expression has become shuttered.

“Am I interrupting something?”

She says it like she almost expects someone to walk out of his bedroom and he would laugh at the absurdity of the situation if he hadn’t been trying to conceal just how she’s made him feel ever since she’s walked around STAR Labs like she does own half of it.

“No, you’re not. Jesse just left.”

At the mentioning of his daughter’s name, however, she doesn’t relax but tenses even more and nods resolutely.

“Right. I should go, still.”

“Didn’t you come here for a reason, Caitlin?”

She shakes her head slowly and tries to walk back to the door. “Oh, I think it can wait until the morning, Dr. Wells.”

But he’s been emboldened slightly by the alcohol and by her presence in his home, so he steps in to block her way and gently takes her by the shoulders.

“Caitlin. Jesse is my daughter.”

She stops trying to go past him and looks into his face again, as if to find out if he’s telling the truth, so he keeps going.

“I realize you probably didn’t know her name but I swear, I was just having dinner with my daughter, not doing whatever you’re thinking of. I haven’t done any of _that_ in a while now.”

He can feel her relax and adjust back to the mindset she must’ve been in when she made the decision to come to his house at 11 pm on a Friday night.

“And why is that?”

She will force him to drop his defenses, to be the first one to cave, just like he’s probably always known that she would. He finds that he doesn’t mind.

“You know why.”

She slides her hands up his arms now and rests them on his shoulders but not giving an inch otherwise, daring him to be the first to break this circle they’ve been dancing in.

“I think you should tell me why, Harry.”

And then he caves, sliding his hand into her hair and pulling her closer to claim her mouth with his because he’s been denying himself this for far too long. She hums in contentment and kisses him back with just enough heat that he realizes he’s not the only one who’s known everything would lead to this moment.

When she coaxes his mouth open with her tongue, he rests his other hand on the small of her back to bring her closer but doesn’t realize they’re moving until his back connects with the wall and she presses as close as she possibly can.

It’s maybe the most alive he’s felt in the years that have passed since he lost Tess and it doesn’t feel so much as giving in as finally accepting what’s been right in front of him, as Caitlin leads them to his bedroom and he follows, without question.

* * *

 

Even with Ronnie’s help, it still takes them months to complete the accelerator. He’s frustrated with himself and the project but doesn’t relent; this will be his legacy, the mark he indelibly leaves in the scientific history as one of the greatest there has ever been.

And even more incredibly, he shares it all with Caitlin. He’s always known that she is brilliant and she proves it a thousand times over by working tirelessly beside him, by overseeing work on other projects, to make sure that the scientific advancements they so wish to achieve do not go to waste.

It feels like it used to with Tess, to share the part of himself he’s kept away from anyone else for years, to be matched so equally with someone again, someone whose brilliance is enhanced only by the emotional connection they can offer.

When they finally complete the accelerator, it’s been hundreds of hours of work, so on the day they are going to turn it on, they take the time to sit in his office, just the two of them.

“You finally did it, Harry. I always knew you would make it work.”

Caitlin’s got her feet propped up on his desk and she sips the champagne they were supposed to keep until he’s actually activated the accelerator but she’s always been a bit of a rule breaker.

He caresses her calf with his thumb and realizes he would not change a thing about anything.

“Only because you were there, Caitlin. Always with me.”

“This is your crowning achievement, Harry. I would not take credit.”

And his heart aches because she should do exactly that, and he understands that he’s never really told her just how much of his feat is her doing.

“Caitlin. I could not have done any of this without you, at least not at this speed. Nobody’s believed in me quite like you do.”

She gives him a small smile and he takes a deep breath to get the final words out.

“And I love you for it.”

She stills with the champagne flute halfway to her lips and looks at him. “Of course you would, for that. I am amazing.”

“Not just for that. Simply saying, I love you. For all of it.”

He gets up then and takes her by the hand, to pull her upright before he kisses her, slowly but with confidence, almost willing her to believe the words he’s finally found to express the feelings he doesn’t want to keep only to himself anymore.

When he pulls away, she wraps her hands around him and hugs him tight, like she never wants to let go. “And I love you, Harrison Wells. Let’s go and change the world.”

He has no idea just how much his world will be changed when his biggest achievement becomes his greatest failure, as the accelerator malfunctions almost immediately. Ronnie goes to save what he can while he tries to work out what went wrong; his mind keeps ringing out Hartley’s words which begin to sound like an ominous threat now.

As the world shakes around them and he orders the scientists to leave, he is almost not surprised that Caitlin refuses to go.

“Someone has to go and check on the cryo-engines.”

“We have a mechanical engineer for that, Caitlin!”

“Yes, and he’s right now in the pipeline, trying to figure out the problem from that angle. But if those engines go, the fallout will be unimaginable and you know it. I’m going, Harry.”

He wants to stop her, wants to tell her to leave and save herself but he knows that she never would listen because science always comes first.

So instead, he kisses her, fiercely, with the promise of future. “This is not goodbye, Caitlin.”

She nods and rests her forehead against his. “Never.”

He tries to save what he can but the pipeline goes up in flames and Ronnie’s gone. When he sees that the cryo-engines are about to explode, his heart constricts in fear and he wants to abandon the controls.

When he hears the rumble from beneath his feet, he knows that everything’s gone and he manages to divert the explosive force of STAR Labs, to release a wave of dark matter and negative energy over the city, only to doom the facility itself.

Later, he will explain that no harm was done and offer condolences to the families of Ronnie Raymond and Dr. Caitlin Snow.

Later, he will wish he had been taken with her.

* * *

 

It takes him two years to rebuild STAR Labs on his own. Central City brands him a hero, unaware that he’s the one who released all the meta-humans into their quiet bode; all but Jay Garrick who realizes what he’s done.

His tech for detecting meta-humans is the least he can do to atone, even if he’s perfectly aware that nothing will ever be enough to really absolve his guilt, his responsibility for what happened to Central City. He will certainly never receive atonement for what happened to Caitlin and he knows he will never deserve it either.

When he hears of a new pair of meta-humans, one of whom can blast ice and the other heat, his mind doesn’t connect, at least not until he ends up in the middle of their fight and comes face to face with the ghosts of his past.

“Caitlin.” He whispers her name out of pure shock at seeing her but when their eyes meet, hers are colder than he’s ever imagined.

“My name is Killer Frost.” Even her voice is wrong – callous and cool, the infliction in it cruel. Next to her, Ronnie regards him with similar disgust.

She steps closer and he should probably do something but all he can do is stare at her because it’s been far too long since he’s seen her and even with the platinum-blonde hair and the blue electricity coursing through her veins and flashing in her eyes, he can still remember how warm she felt around him, how much she gave him.

She caresses his cheek with one finger and it feels like an icicle sliding down his skin.

“I never meant for you to get hurt, you must know that, Caitlin.”

She grabs his throat and unexpectedly kisses him; the shock of cold burns through his veins and he struggles to breathe as she freezes him from the inside out.

And then she lets go and he drops to the ground, wheezing, his chest feeling like it’s full of small icy needles as she squats next to him to whisper in his ear.

“Caitlin’s dead and you killed her. The next time I hear you use that name, I will kill you, _Dr. Wells_.”

She walks away from him then and he almost wishes she had killed him instead.

* * *

 

When he comes face to face with another Caitlin Snow on another Earth, he doesn’t hint of knowing her doppelganger and by some miracle, she never asks about her either.

So he’s rude and hurtful with her instead, deliberately never spending more time with her than he needs to, until he lets her help develop Velocity-6 in what will be his greatest misstep because she is just as brilliant as the other her was.

It’s almost a relief that he rebuffs her so expertly that she falls in with Jay instead – as much as that infuriates him, though it shouldn’t because here, she has never been his – and yet, when he volunteers to save her from a telepathic giant gorilla with a real chance of getting himself killed, he knows that his feelings are bleeding through.

He never tells them what he knows of her and Ronnie back on his world until they have to meet and even then, he offers it up as an offhand comment, as something insignificant.

How could he explain everything that was?

How could he tell her that he can’t try to love her because he did so once and it nearly killed her?

How could he ever leave this Earth behind if she was to remain?


End file.
